Eat Music Notes For Breakfast and You'll Look Slimmer

I've realized that what I wanted, is not, what I wanted....

In early February I signed up for this computer program that would allow me access to unlimited music from tons of different genres for one flat price on a monthly basis. I thought it was such a great investment; so much music for one monthly price. How could I say no?! I have a huge passion for music. I should take advantage of having the world of song at my fingertips. (Yes, I am a sucker for those quirky little deals). Today, being the first of the month and the day the automatic credit card payment was to go though to the music company, I received an email saying my account has been renewed.  I realized something. I have spent enough money on music to buy a good amount of groceries. My priorities are a little off. Music is definitely my life's rhythm, but there are times when one has to ask themselves, "what's really important at this point?" And act on it. So I'm cancelling by subscription to this library of music. 

The reason for this blog entry isn't to tell the world about how I regret using my grocery money on music. There's something a little deeper. I'm talking about misplaced priorities. I made a swift decision that should be reconsidered. A lot of times we think that something is what we want only to find out that it really wasn't what we wanted for ourselves. It could be that unlimited music library that takes away from your food budget, or that chocolate cake after you've already ate an entire meal, or that person you know isn't the one God has for you but you go for it anyway, or that friend you associate yourself with who isn't the best influence, or allowing yourself to get into a conversation that isn't really appropriate. It's easy to loose sight of priorities. Thankfully there are things such as "unsubscribe" buttons that give us the chance to redeem ourselves. 

Double Lives Means Double Meals

As teens we want to be able to make our own decisions (no matter how destructive), live our own lives (without limits), to choose words (no matter how profane). If we feel restricted or stifled by someone, we defy. Some of us rebel in a way that can be seen. We’re told to do one thing and we intentionally do it the opposite way. Others, are more subtle in their defiance. We form another life. Secret and unseen. Within it we are who we want to be, without another’s influence on us.

As I think about my past I ponder:

There’s a problem, though, with this second life. It has no rules, limits or boundaries. When living a life without the protection of wisdom and reason self destruction is inevitable. Yep, it may seem like freedom now, but in the long run the things I did: broke the trust, rose the guilt and took me far from God.

Before I knew it, I didn’t know who “Cecilia” was. Was she the “good girl” who listened to the latest Christian music releases? Or was she that girl who secretly did things that would keep her from sleeping at night? Nope. She was both. I was burdened with living two lives. Two very real lives but two very real lies.

Long story short, this is what I did:

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God. 2 Corinthians 4:2

I renounced it and thanked God for his redeeming power along with super supportive parents. My life isn’t perfect nowadays. I have my mistakes, my bad decisions, but I live one life now.  And if I pursue something that might introduce “another” life, I get back in check.  Because really, who wants to eat 6 meals a day...double meals?