Double Lives Means Double Meals

As teens we want to be able to make our own decisions (no matter how destructive), live our own lives (without limits), to choose words (no matter how profane). If we feel restricted or stifled by someone, we defy. Some of us rebel in a way that can be seen. We’re told to do one thing and we intentionally do it the opposite way. Others, are more subtle in their defiance. We form another life. Secret and unseen. Within it we are who we want to be, without another’s influence on us.

As I think about my past I ponder:

There’s a problem, though, with this second life. It has no rules, limits or boundaries. When living a life without the protection of wisdom and reason self destruction is inevitable. Yep, it may seem like freedom now, but in the long run the things I did: broke the trust, rose the guilt and took me far from God.

Before I knew it, I didn’t know who “Cecilia” was. Was she the “good girl” who listened to the latest Christian music releases? Or was she that girl who secretly did things that would keep her from sleeping at night? Nope. She was both. I was burdened with living two lives. Two very real lives but two very real lies.

Long story short, this is what I did:

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God. 2 Corinthians 4:2

I renounced it and thanked God for his redeeming power along with super supportive parents. My life isn’t perfect nowadays. I have my mistakes, my bad decisions, but I live one life now.  And if I pursue something that might introduce “another” life, I get back in check.  Because really, who wants to eat 6 meals a day...double meals?

Am I a Fungi?

This morning, when I was taking a walk I saw mushrooms growing out of a tree. I looked at them and tried to think of a deep, profound metaphor for the fungi-growing-out-of-the-foot-of-the-tree image before me. Nothing came up.

So that was this morning....

The entire day passed by. Then....

BANG! It hit me.

Am I a mushroom? Or am I a tree? 

Am I a fungi stuck on someone else preventing them from being all they can be; taking the life that they should have, keeping them from growing the way they were meant? Or am I a beautiful piece of greenery striving on it's own to be strong and to eventually provide fruit?