Running Up Escalators

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Matthew 6:34

When I was younger I remember running up the escalators at the JCPenny store and trying to reach the top before anyone else. Of course, I'd always win because no normal person would dart up a stairwell that automatically ascends to the higher level (except the very hyper Ceci). There I'd stand panting for breath with my hair displaced as a result of my sudden sprint with eyes wide (sweet victory). As the shopping trip carried on and everyone enjoyed themselves, I would be the first to get tired... my energies were prematurely exerted at the entrance. I'd turn cranky and ask myself why I felt like I had HAD to run up the metal moving stairs. Silly girl.

I've noticed this pattern in my life- trying too hard too early. I sometimes wear myself out when I should be relaxing; hassle over a situation when it really isn't something to stress over, or jump into meaningful relationship before its God's time. In the beginning the sense  of control, independent and responsibility seem to be there, but before long, I feel the way I'd feel at the end of a shopping trip. Tired and regretful. Honestly, I enjoy being first (in life, love, success and all things "grown-up") but I'm learning now that it's better to take a normal pace (let Life be an escalator) so that I'll still have it together at the end. 

"Show Your Heart"

In Haiti, whenever there was a communication problem or a misunderstanding between two of the children I would tell them this:

"You see that person? That person, there, can't see what's in your heart."

And they'd look at me with a blank look on their face. Like the awesome mediator that I am, I'd continue.

"YOU need to take out your heart and shove it in their face! Show them how you feel. Because this problem is because you guys aren't looking at hearts." 

Eyes would begin to roll.  And arms would cross.

I guess heart show-and-tell isn't the most exciting thing????

"Show your heart." I'd repeat, again and again. 

Slowly one would open up with the concerns from their young little heart. Before long tears would fall and hugs were exchanged. It's beautiful to see a mutual understanding of a situation!

When blogging, because its virtually impossible for me to explain everything, I sometimes feel like I can't blog certain stories, ideas or revelations because there is so much room for misunderstanding.

For example, I can say, "I love chicken!" and some will respond, "Wow, me too!", others will look at it and think, "So she doesn't like beef?!" or "Why do we need to know that?!".


I find myself sitting at my laptop looking at written posts that I have decided to keep in "draft" form. Yet, my heart is to share everything, so that someone, out there, can relate or grow or learn or disagree or add. So here I am, showing my heart about showing my heart. So that, one day, I can post all those drafts without worrying about being misunderstood.