They were happy, holy, connected. They had it all together. Carefree. They were in tune with the spiritual side of things. Perfect little bible students.
I thought I heard them laughing as I sat in the back row crying. They WERE laughing. Four of them with their shoulders shifting from the deep belly laughter. Being "caught up in the Spirit", is what they called it. I hugged my knees as tears dripped out of my eyes. I sniffled.
I was, out of place, uncomfortable and growing in indifference...
"What am I doing here?! Why am I crying? Why can't I laugh?"
As I watched them giggle and chuckle with freedom, I realized I had been doing it on my own. I was running on empty. SHOOT! I attend a freaking BIBLE school and I depend on my own strengths to deal with situations and circumstances. Sure, I read my bible everyday and go to church more than the average american.....but, without knowing it, I hit a point where I was just going through the motions.
The meeting finished up. And they continued to laugh even after the room had cleared. I walked outside. I dared not say a word. I was so confused. A thought entered my head, "Was I dealing with everything in the Spirit or the flesh?" My job, my friends, my finances, my self, my relationship, my family, my destiny....in the flesh...with my own mental understanding. No wonder, no wonder! This is why I couldn't laugh; I was too overwhelmed.
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